Do I go with my heart or my head?
I am at a fork in the road and do not know what to do. Here is the dilemma: our coton died in April. We had him for over 15 years. We have a great opportunity to adopt another one, another puppy again. Her pups are due soon and I must look at her website probably every day and have been emailing her for 3 years, every now and then just to keep in touch. (We did not adopt another during those years because I did not want our first coton to feel like he was getting passed up in his old age and also he did not like other dogs at all.)
In my heart I want another, but in my mind it says no. There are reasons for this that I won’t get into all of them. Just one of the reasons is I never want to let the dog down. Our first dog had what our vet called a “charmed” life. We were able to be home with it for 15 years because we work out of the home. But since nothing lasts forever, I do not know what the next 15 years holds. 15 years is a long time. What if we could not be home with it all the time and it got separation anxiety? I would feel horrible. Then all of my what if’s come into play and I am so torn. One person on this website said it’s good to consider all of the what if’s because they do happen. My husband says you can’t dwell on all of the what if’s, just focus on today.
We are getting to where we will have to place the deposit and I still have no clear feeling or decision other than my heart wants one, my mind says no. How do I know which to follow? With either decision I could have regrets – if we don’t adopt, I may be spending years looking at the breeder’s website, longing for what could have been. If we get one, I may fear all of the responsibility in owning another coton and be overwhelmed (we did a lot of things for our other coton when he got sick and he loved it but it was a lot of work. He even almost died at one point from a health problem and by God’s grace we were able to nurse him back to health with special homemade gluten free meals made from scratch. Those meals almost doubled his lifespan – he lived another full over 7 years in great health because of those special meals). Also, it’s not just me involved, my husband seems to really want one more dog. I don’t want to disappoint him and say no. He said he is looking forward to getting the dog since we kind of have decided to go that way. He even picked out the name for the puppy and I love the name too. I let him pick the name of our last dog too and it was a great name.
This is such a big decision that will affect possibly the next 15 years of our lives either way and I want to make the best decision but honestly not sure what that is. This is the only breeder that I want a coton from and I told her we are interested in her next litter. All I have to do is place the deposit in a week or two.
My husband says no one way will be perfect and I agree. In other words, like there is no one perfect answer, either decision will have pros and cons. I just want the very best for the dog if we get one but since no one knows the future, I do not know what challenges may lie ahead but yet I am supposed to make a decision that will affect our lives for a very long time.
I guess the bottom line in all of this is, do I go with my heart or do I go with my head?